Yesterday we considered Ps 32: 1 – 2:
Happy is he who has forgiveness continually exercised upon him, who has a perpetual fresh start! You’re slate is wiped clean! God holds nothing against you, and so, you need not hold anything back from Him.?
Did you notice the latter part of that passage? “… so, you need not hold anything back from Him.” (The Message)
Often in my coaching, I guide my clients to check out passages in the word that offer proof of the heart and intention of God. Without understanding more fully the love of God, it’s easy to get thwarted in receiving the desires of their hearts.
I ask about the nature and quality of their relationship with Him to see if they are trying to get to their destination or goal in a boat with no paddles, sail, or motor. Crazy, but that’s most of us!
After we talk about this, invariably it is disclosed, sheepishly, that they rarely sit with the Lord for wisdom, strength, hope, or joy. Why not? They feel guilty.
Somewhere within, they feel God doesn’t really want to see them, or if He does, it’s to scold them.
They barely crack open the word, which is to strengthen their faith, infuse them with power, and settle their hearts. Again, why not? Because they perceive a big bony finger rising up out of the pages and shaking in their faces. Who’d want that?
I know exactly how they feel. Growing up with a highly critical parent, I developed the idea that being right about everything, not wrong, was the way to avoid punishment, ensure my worth as a person, and increase my superiority. To have anyone point out I was wrong about ANYTHING was like taking a hot poker and stabbing an open wound.
Of course, I had an effective way of masking that this bothered me, and so, I’d internalize the criticism, wonder about its truth, and be resentful toward them. A double whammy to my soul.
Examine today if your guilty feelings are keeping you from the True Source of all you need and desire. The answer is NOT to do everything right all the time so that you don’t ever feel guilty and no one can accuse you. You can’t anyway.
The answer is NOT to grovel and do penance each time you want to go to Him. He doesn’t need or want that.
The answer is to accept wholeheartedly the open door to His heart for you. There is nothing that stands in His way, and He doesn’t want anything to stand in yours. You can tell Him anything. Go for it.