Tag Archives: insecurity

How to Seek God

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Writing a book opens all kinds of doors.  And I love that.  More coaching clients, invitations to speak, seminars to present, and book signings to do. Opportunities to witness the move of God in the hearts and minds of so many new, as well as old friends.

I get so excited when the opportunity gets presented… and then, a few days, or the night before the event… a dread falls upon me.  I want to run away, disappear, and go into hiding.

At first, I thought something was wrong, or maybe I’m not supposed to do this, or…. and then, doubt about who I am takes over, and I even lose sight of why I’m doing this.  Quite frankly, it almost overwhelms me!

Has this ever happened to you, or is it just me?

And what is this dread about?

For me, imagined fears of being a failure, or being alone, of feeling like I’m ineffective, inadequate, and non-essential.  Old yukky thoughts still wanting to block and stop me from carrying out the mission God has placed within me.

But…ha-ha!   God is making me savvy.  I see the wiley ways of the enemy who stands to accuse and oppose me.

God is making me smart.  He exposes the plot, and reminds me who I am, and why I do what I do.


He shows me the thoughts that create the feeling of dread are not the thoughts of a highly favored woman of God, co-heir of the King, esteemed and deeply loved child of a Father who has said He would do “whatsoever” I ask.

He uses these times to train me, mentor me, and power me up.  I am then led to speak my agreement with Him.


“Yes, Lord, You are mighty and I am highly favored.  I am blessed to be a blessing.  In You, I am not a failure.  In You, I am not ineffective.  You have chosen me for such a time as this!  When I enter that arena, I will be full of Your love, wisdom, and anything else I need because You are faithful. You are already there, and at the same time, I bring You with me. Flow through me, and touch whoever needs Your touch.  I am grateful and excited to showcase Your love, Your favor, and Your energy.  Thank you for choosing me.”

Well, I am happy to report, the seminar I conducted after my last tangle with dread was sheer delight.  The Lord showed up in a marvelous way as He gave me the courage to transparently tell my embarrassing stories.   All the pieces of the study fell into place, and the ladies responded as baby birds, mouths wide open, hungry for what God was revealing.  It was apparent to all that He was there, at work, inspiring, motivating, and encouraging.  As a friend quoted from Veggie Tales, “I laughed. I cried.  It really touched me, Bob.”  Cute.

Consciously flowing in the favor of God could not happen if I did not “seek” Him.  Not some religious ritual, perfunctorily performed and then checked off, seeking Him is as simple as sharing our secrets with an intimate friend, or relaxing over coffee with a deeply interested relative.


And yet, there is a profundity to seeking Him, where He shares with us the inner workings of His heart and mind.  How secure He makes me feel knowing that every need I have, He has the answer and solution.

Where I once had difficulty carving out time to sit with Him because of all I had to get done, I now am so addicted to it, that everything else gets ordered around this part of my day.   Oh, how much easier, more productive, and satisfying life is!! For those of you who know what I’m talking about… let us rejoice together!

For the rest, oh, how I want that for you!

And so, I asked the Lord to speak to you today, and here is what He said,


“Come to Me as you are.  I know the details of your life intimately.   And I care about it all.  You don’t have to know anything other than I desire you and you desire me.  Sit with Me, and let Me show you My love.  Close your eyes, and look into Mine.  Do you see My delight for you?  You are My heartthrob.  You are My joy.  I know everything in your mind, your heart, your circumstances.. I know it all. I see the good in you, and all are trying to accomplish.  I see your fears, too. Come, let Me show you that I am on your side.

I desire to work with and through you, to give you ideas and what you need to accomplish them.  (I see the Lord lift up your face, and a radiant glow illuminates it, as He says…) I have things worked out for you.  Sit and rest awhile, and then follow my lead and I will show you the path.”

At that point the Lord held you close, until you were almost totally absorbed into Him.  Oh, the sweet satisfaction in His eyes as He held you!

How do we seek God?  Just show up, be ready to receive, and have a conversation.  He is waiting with eagerness and joy.


Have an amazing week!

You are destined for GREATNESS!!

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I have a good word for you today!  If you actually read it and implement it… it may make a profound difference in your life!


Have you ever considered that you have seeds of greatness in you? Now, hear me out.  I’m not talking some “power of positive thinking” message, but a solid biblical truth, one you can actually bank on!

So, what entitles us to believe we have this greatness within us?  Of course, we are Christ’s, co-heirs with Him, new creatures, and made in the image of God.  What He has, we have.

But let’s look at another cool connection.

Galatians 3: 29 says,“And (since) you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.”

An heir receives what the successor had, in this case, the promise.

What is the promise?

The Lord said to Abram,


“I will make you a great nation; I will bless you and make your name great; And you shall be a blessing… And in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed” (Genesis 12:1-3).

While Genesis does not say that God would make Abram great, but rather his name, let’s remember, a man’ s a name was his essence, his reputation, who he was.

Abram was blessed with the promise of greatness.

In the Hebrew text, GREAT means to be LARGE in body, mind, estate or honor;  to advance, exceed, increase, lift up, magnify, nourish, promote, and tower.

Those are some good words!  Of course, I don’t have to tell you, that all of this is to be in the context of love, not lording it over others.

God would have us be free to fully embrace our greatness, through Him, rather than reject it. He has given you permission!

Don’t agree with any other voice that says you are helpless, impotent, powerless, or insignificant.  Don’t let any circumstance rise up bigger than this truth.

Agree with God this week. The first step in manifesting a truth, is to believe it is true and receive it for yourself.


Ask God to grow you in it, His way.   Ask Him to help you see it more clearly; to even remove any blind spots you may have to your greatness.

It is a gift to you, from Him, and you need this mindset to walk in your true identity and fulfill His destiny marked out for you. You are important in His eyes, and those are the most important eyes to view us.

If you have a comment to this, or a story to share, I would LOVE to hear it!
Always in YOUR corner,
Maryann

Be Happier! Tell God About It

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I’m always amazed when I read the word and see psychological/health principles vividly displayed.  Many think the word of God irrelevant, and yet more and more, current brain and psychological studies reveal what the Bible has been saying all along, specifically in this discussion:  For happiness and health, we need forgiveness.  Internalizing our fears and guilty feelings creates havoc in our minds and bodies.

Let me show you what I mean:

I discussed in the past couple of posts how Ps 32:1-2 points out a way to HAPPINESS, and that is to live in a perpetual state of a clean slate which is only obtained by believing at a deep heart level that God has already forgiven you.  It is NOT by trying to always be good! Further, because God holds nothing against you, you need not hold anything back from Him.

Feeling guilty carries with it the fear of punishment, and we do all kinds of things to avoid that… blame-shifting, denial, aggressive attacks.

On the other hand, some people accept all forms of guilt… they feel responsible for everything that happens, take the blame for it all, and subconsicously harbor a belief they deserve punishment, and the circumstances of their lives reflect that.  Read any basic Psy 101 course and this dynamic is sure to be examined.

Now venting, blaming others, and punishing others for the guilt we feel inside is not a healthy response.  But neither is internalizing it so your body gets bombarded with a steady stream of harmful chemicals triggered by persistent negative thoughts.

Listen what David says in Ps 32:3:

When I kept silence [before I confessed], my bones wasted away through my groaning all the day long.

Keeping our negative thoughts inside and not dealing with them in a healthy manner affects our minds and bodies in severe ways.

As a former neurotically guilty person, feeling responsible for everyone and everything, here’s what I have learned to do:

Tell God all about it.

I write daily letters to Him and when I need to, I share my deepest, darkest secrets and feelings.  I share my screwiest ideas, my stupidest questions, my greatest fears, and silliest offenses.

And guess what?  I not only have not been zapped, but also I feel and see His smile.

He’s never forsaken me.  He, instead, sticks close to me, enlightens me, clears up my confusion, and reassures me that He loves and yes, even favors me!!  I need not grovel because He is the Lifter of my head!

If you don’t have that kind of intimacy with Him… ask Him for it and try it out!  He will meet you, if you let Him!

To your good mental, emotional, and physiological health!

How does the pain of rejection affect you?

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Ok.  I know this is not a popular topic.  Avoiding pain, of any kind, is a basic human motivation.  So, I understand if just the mention of this topic causes most of you to “runaway!”  (Sorry, can’t help but think of a segment in the movie, “Monty Python.”)

But some of you are fully aware that the pain of rejection is something you have indeed suffered, are suffering, or continue suffer.  You understand how it has affected you and driven you in various aspects of your life.

It is to you I address this post.  Read to the end…. there may be a free gift for you!

The Lord has impressed upon me recently just how significant this issue is and how it affects relationships, choices we make in our work, and endeavors we choose or don’t choose.  And thus, I am currently working on a project about the pain of rejection and how it directs our lives – positively and negatively.

Would you take just a few minutes and jot down some notes to me as to how it has affected you?  Would you mind sharing a story, a choice, and event where you have seen yourself do something or not in order to avoid the pain of rejection, or maybe how you reject yourself, or how you have tried to compensate for the pain?

For example,  because of being abused, abandoned, and rejected often as a child, I was motivated to become a lawyer.  Seems positive, right?  But once I had achieved my goal, I felt very depressed, rather than satisfied.   Why?  Because I was largely motivated to become a lawyer by my need to prove my worth and secure my future.  I wanted to be esteemed and wanted.

Well, I was esteemed, alright.  But I felt less wanted than ever!  People are scared of attorneys!  Girlfriends thought I was superior to them.  Guys thought I was too smart for them.  And on top of it, in the geographic area I lived in, being Asian, especially a smart Asian, was not a desirable trait.

The desire to avoid and compensate for the pain of rejection caused me to seek this career, but instead of being free of it, I added even more. (Thankfully God rescued me and showed me over many years, His love, esteem, and security that never fades and is in constant operation!)

Another example.  My husband has a business where he must invoice for services rendered.  For a long time we could not understand why he didn’t bill his clients on time, charge for the full extent of his work, or invoice at all!  Eventually the Lord shed light on it:  Gene perceived that the bill was a reflection of his worth.  If there was any challenge to his bill, which does happen in service businesses, it tapped into a hidden fear that he was not actually worth the money he charged.  This pain of feeling worth-less was enough to (subconsciously) keep or delay him from the billing process.  Of course, God pointed this out for Gene’s victory, but seeing and accepting this dynamic was not all that easy!

These are just 2 ways we have seen our choices affected by the pain of rejection.  There are so many more that relate to our relationships, our ministry, what we expect from life, God, and ourselves.

How about you?  Would you share with me how the pain of rejection has affected you and your choices in live?  Do you desire to be free and victorious of it as well?  In what ways are you already?

And here is the free gift part ….. share your story, and receive a $7 gift card to your favorite coffee shop, restaurant, or department store!   You can send me an email privately, or you can add your story here!

Thanks so much!!

Cheers!

Maryann