Tag Archives: happiness

Powerful stuff!

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What is it that can cause a tribal woman to decide to not eat her children today or any day? (yes, you read that right!)

What is it that can grow limbs, open deaf ears, even produce pupils and irises when eyeballs are completely white?

What is it that can feed 12,000 people bread and have baskets and baskets full leftover… just like Jesus did?

And what can cause a ministry to grow to care for 10,000 children and plant thousands of churches, even when government forces repeatedly shut you down?

Well, according to Heidi Baker, founder of Iris Ministries in Mozambique, the answer is the most powerful force on the earth, something we all crave whether we recognize it or not … the love of the Father. … and boy, does she exude it.

Some of you have read my book, “Have I Ever Told You, You’re My Favorite” and may have noticed her name.

I regularly quote her love-filled words, “We are the crowning achievement of all God’s creative power.” What a way to look at ourselves and each other!

For a number of years now, I have wanted to meet this petite powerhouse. In fact, just a few weeks ago I was asked if I knew her.

I replied, “No, but I would love to! That would be a dream come true.”

I didn’t even pray that… I just said it… but the Father was listening because today, here in San Juan Capistrano,CA. sort of out of the blue, my dream came true! What a thrill!

One of the interesting things about Heidi speaking to this fairly small church was this was the first time in 31 years she had ever spoken in her hometown area!

And I just “happened” to be here? FAVOR? Ya think?

Well, not only did I get to hear her speak, but actually talk with her, and as I did, she did something surprising…. she took her almost childlike hands, put it to my face, drew me close, and then hugged me like she had known me since birth, giving me an awesome word from God. I cried. Genuine love… pure and sweet.

May I encourage you today? 1 John 3:1 says, “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!”

And 1 John 4:18… “perfect love casts out fear”… “there is no dread in love.” God has perfect love for you.

I would encourage you today… if you know God loves you, but you don’t feel it, go to Him, and ask Him to lavish His love on you today. Keep at Him, until you feel it.

He loves you and wants to show you.

Thank you for letting me into your life!
Maryann

Contrary to Popular Belief, You Deserve It!

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Lately my husband and I have been visiting churches and enjoying meeting so many new people in our area.

One church we visited recently had the friendliest group, stirring worship, and an invigorating guest speaker.  Almost every church we go to has something favorable to recommend, and this church was no exception.

As I listened intently to the speaker, agreeing and nodding with his encouragement to us all, my heart and mind came to a screeching halt.

There it was again… every time I hear it, it’s literally like nails on the chalkboard.  I can’t even remember what was said before or after… all I heard was those blaring words we often hear in many churches… “Though we don’t deserve it … ” followed by some benefit bestowed upon us.

Ok, it’s true.  I get a little riled up about this.

Maybe it’s because through 25 years of counseling and coaching people, I have seen how this subtly deceptive belief of being undeserving lies at the heart of so many problems. It undermines confidence like few things can.  It anchors our feet to the ground when we are supposed to be soaring.

I also get riled up because God has done so much to make us worthy and deserving, but we continue to buy and spread the lie.

To feel we don’t deserve God’s blessings and abundance does not make us humble, it makes us impotent. And when we are impotent, we are not empowered or at peace.

And if we are not empowered or at peace, then we are child’s play for the enemy who wants to wipe our faces on the floor.

Now, I don’t know if this is an issue for you, but if it is, may I be a strong encouragement to you?
You are worthy and you do deserve the blessings of God.

Maybe an argument can be made that you did not deserve salvation and forgiveness and redemption before you received Him.

But if He died for you so you could have eternal life and kingdom living, then don’t you deserve it?

To deserve something is to be entitled to it, to have it coming. Jesus said He came so that we would have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance, to the full, till it overflows. (Jn 10:10 AMP)

If He came to give this to you, are you not to claim ownership of it? Are you not to expect it to come to you?  Was this a cruel joke?

Yes, I understand.  To say we are not worthy or we don’t deserve it often means, “I did not earn this great thing myself, therefore I don’t deserve it.”

Well folks, that is worldly thinking.  It is the world, not God, that says we only deserve what we earn ourselves.

Set your minds and keep them set on what is above, not the things that are on the earth.  (Col 3:2)

Think about it … Adam and Eve deserved to be in the Garden – because God put them there. They did not build it, pay for it, or work for it.  The fact that God GAVE it to them was all that was necessary for them to be entitled to it.

One final question:  for those of you who have little children, do you want them feeling like they don’t deserve a meal when you offer it to them? Or would rather they just come to the table happy and accepting and leave grateful and satisfied?

In Mt 18:2-6 we are encouraged to be as little children.  Receive in freedom and gratitude all that God has for you.

Please say with me today, and every day… “I deserve all that God has given to me.  I deserve all that He has won and all that He has done.”

Believe me it will give our Lord great pleasure and also open the door to even more of what He wants for you.

Please, please, please… purpose in your hearts to be done with this debilitating notion.  It is not of God.  Agree with Him.  He has made you worthy and you deserve His best.

Shout it from the rooftops!

In your corner,
Maryann

Your Perception of God Controls Your Life

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The more people I mentor, the more I am convinced that how a person perceives God controls every aspect of their life, especially how they view themselves.

The interesting thing is – despite this critically pivotal state of mind and heart,  most people have little awareness of how they see God.

And so, one of the first things I listen for is my client’s mindset about who God is to them.  This is often revealed in subtle ways, in the words they casually speak, when they they talk of their past experiences, or what their current struggles are.

Their mindset about who God is to them is formed from a variety of sources from growing up, to what they were told in school, to  what they see in the media, or while they’re out and about in the world.   Even what they are taught in church.   (Yes, I understand, people get nervous when I say those kinds of things.)  Slowly over time conclusions about God and a person’s relationship to Him get solidified to the point that they are never questioned, let alone challenged.

Over my many years of being a Christian, I have hit plenty of walls of frustration and fear. But in each instance, God had given me the opportunity to question and challenge my perception of Him, how He related to me, what He had in store for me, what His promises to me were — yes, you probably noticed a theme… ME.

But contrary to the saying, ‘it NOT about YOU,'”  I believe there are times when it has to be about me… and my mindset about God, which gives me my perception of Him, which will control how I experience what I am going through, and what choices I will make as a result.

Often the Lord has shown me that something definitely needed to be tweaked in my mind… I need the spirit of my mind to be renewed, rejuvenated, and often changed.  And He is faithful to do it.  The more I can see Him as Good, and Good to and for ME, the more I experience His goodness toward me.  This leads to greater peace, clarity, and confidence.  I am able to soar and rise above the difficulties, armed with new spiritual and practical tools and weaponry, all in the safe context of a loving God.

If you are feeling like things are not going so well with you, maybe it’s time to challenge your existing mindset. Ask God to show you what may not be working in your thought life, even in your subconscious.  Tell Him through writing or speaking… not just thinking, that you are ready to hear and see.  He is all about your success, freedom, and fulfillment.

God bless you, my friends.

Be Happier! Tell God About It

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I’m always amazed when I read the word and see psychological/health principles vividly displayed.  Many think the word of God irrelevant, and yet more and more, current brain and psychological studies reveal what the Bible has been saying all along, specifically in this discussion:  For happiness and health, we need forgiveness.  Internalizing our fears and guilty feelings creates havoc in our minds and bodies.

Let me show you what I mean:

I discussed in the past couple of posts how Ps 32:1-2 points out a way to HAPPINESS, and that is to live in a perpetual state of a clean slate which is only obtained by believing at a deep heart level that God has already forgiven you.  It is NOT by trying to always be good! Further, because God holds nothing against you, you need not hold anything back from Him.

Feeling guilty carries with it the fear of punishment, and we do all kinds of things to avoid that… blame-shifting, denial, aggressive attacks.

On the other hand, some people accept all forms of guilt… they feel responsible for everything that happens, take the blame for it all, and subconsicously harbor a belief they deserve punishment, and the circumstances of their lives reflect that.  Read any basic Psy 101 course and this dynamic is sure to be examined.

Now venting, blaming others, and punishing others for the guilt we feel inside is not a healthy response.  But neither is internalizing it so your body gets bombarded with a steady stream of harmful chemicals triggered by persistent negative thoughts.

Listen what David says in Ps 32:3:

When I kept silence [before I confessed], my bones wasted away through my groaning all the day long.

Keeping our negative thoughts inside and not dealing with them in a healthy manner affects our minds and bodies in severe ways.

As a former neurotically guilty person, feeling responsible for everyone and everything, here’s what I have learned to do:

Tell God all about it.

I write daily letters to Him and when I need to, I share my deepest, darkest secrets and feelings.  I share my screwiest ideas, my stupidest questions, my greatest fears, and silliest offenses.

And guess what?  I not only have not been zapped, but also I feel and see His smile.

He’s never forsaken me.  He, instead, sticks close to me, enlightens me, clears up my confusion, and reassures me that He loves and yes, even favors me!!  I need not grovel because He is the Lifter of my head!

If you don’t have that kind of intimacy with Him… ask Him for it and try it out!  He will meet you, if you let Him!

To your good mental, emotional, and physiological health!

Guilt: A Barrier to Intimacy with God

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Yesterday we considered Ps 32: 1 – 2:

Happy is he who has forgiveness continually exercised upon him, who has a perpetual fresh start!  You’re slate is wiped clean!  God holds nothing against you, and so, you need not hold anything back from Him.?

Did you notice the latter part of that passage? “… so, you need not hold anything back from Him.” (The Message)

Often in my coaching, I guide my clients to check out passages in the word that offer proof of the heart and intention of God.  Without understanding more fully the love of God, it’s easy to get thwarted in receiving the desires of their hearts.

I ask about the nature and quality of their relationship with Him to see if they are trying to get to their destination or goal in a boat with no paddles, sail, or motor.  Crazy, but that’s most of us!

After we talk about this, invariably it is disclosed, sheepishly, that they rarely sit with the Lord for wisdom, strength, hope, or joy.  Why not?  They feel guilty.

Somewhere within, they feel God doesn’t really want to see them, or if He does, it’s to scold them.

They barely crack open the word, which is to strengthen their faith, infuse them with power, and settle their hearts.  Again, why not?  Because they perceive a big bony finger rising up out of the pages and shaking in their faces.  Who’d want that?

I know exactly how they feel.  Growing up with a highly critical parent, I developed the idea that being right about everything, not wrong, was the way to avoid punishment, ensure my worth as a person, and increase my superiority.  To have anyone point out I was wrong about ANYTHING was like taking a hot poker and stabbing an open wound.

Of course, I had an effective way of masking that this bothered me, and so, I’d internalize the criticism, wonder about its truth,  and be resentful toward them.  A double whammy to my soul.

Examine today if your guilty feelings are keeping you from the True Source of all you need and desire.  The answer is NOT to do everything right all the time so that you don’t ever feel guilty and no one can accuse you.  You can’t anyway.

The answer is NOT to grovel and do penance each time you want to go to Him. He doesn’t need or want that.

The answer is to accept wholeheartedly the open door to His heart for you.  There is nothing that stands in His way, and He doesn’t want anything to stand in yours.  You can tell Him anything.  Go for it.

Wanna Get Happy? (part 2)

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Continuing on…. So, what does lead us to happiness?

Ps 1: 2 says it plainly:  Delighting in God and His law.  Meditating on Him and His words day and night.

Now this may seem daunting, but think about it… who is God, but LOVE!  What is His law… LOVE!   So,  God has made things very simple for us, hasn’t he?  It’s all about love.

Love God.  Love ourselves.  Love others.

The difficulty most of us have is in trying to love others without first having a deep intimate love for God and RECEIVING the deep intimate love that He first gave us.

That is why being in His presence is so vital to our lives, our relationships, and our work.  I want to flow in love, not work at it, don’t you? And isn‘t being in the presence of Love, what all our hearts crave?

Indeed, all the studies done on happiness concur that having healthy, loving connections with others was one of the top contributors to happiness, definitely above money or things or even satisfying work.

But we are often thwarted in attaining those quality connections because the quality of our connection with the One who made us is often wanting.

He is the Source.

I spent years feeling unhappy about huge chunks of my life, and thankfully, God used that to woo me to Him, to pursue His presence.

And now, I happily admit, I am addicted.

Delighting in Him and His ways is easy, satisfying work.  He is now my counsel.  He’s the voice in my ear.  So much so, that I no longer avoid the ungodly, the sinner, or even the scoffer!

In fact, I often purpose to be smack dab in the middle of them!  How else can I form caring relationships with those who need love?

But this is not a job.  This is a RESULT of His love flowing in and through me… which is a RESULT of sitting with Him, not in the seat of scoffers, letting Him love on me.

So, Tip for today:  Seek the presence of God and let Him be your counsel.  Let Him be the voice you hear and the advice you cling to.  Meditate on, ponder about, and receive His love for you…. all day and all night long.  Do you think that will help you be happier?

Let me know, ok!?

Love to you all!

Maryann

Wanna Get Happy?

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Hello You Highly Favored Child of God!

Thank you all so much for all your very intriguing, enlightening emails!  Interestingly, the topic of happiness generated the most response of anything I’ve ever sent out!

It is clear that as desired as happiness is by most, (some people actually prefer misery, no joke!) it can be a confusing, complicated thing.  While hard to explain, you all seem to know when you’re happy and when you aren’t!
Happiness does not have to mean a constant state of exhilaration and euphoria, but there is definitely a lifting and lightening of our loads.  And who couldn’t use that now a days!!

Here’s my proposition:

God wants us to be happy.  He is on our side!  And there are over 70 verses that give us clues.

Besides the Word, a vast number of clinical studies done over the last decade aid us as well.

One interesting, though not surprising “discovery” is:  contrary to our Constitution, the pursuit of happiness is fruitless!

Ah…. but didn’t I say it’s God’s heart and intention for us to be happy?  Absolutely!

But we do not get happy by pursuing happiness.

Happiness is actually a RESULT of many different factors all working together.  And we can be totally happy in one area of our lives, and not so happy in others.

So, let’s get real…. 24/7 happiness in every realm of our lives is pretty unrealistic!

And yet, we could all stand to be happier! I mean authentically happier, not the fakey, stuck-on-the-face-smile-happy. I mean the kind of happiness that gives us more energy, a greater sense of peace, freedom, and generosity.

So, come with me and let’s start digging for treasure.

Psalm 1.  Great place to start!  As far as I can tell, it is in this Psalm that the Hebrew word for “happy,” often termed “blessed,” is first seen.

For today, let’s just look at the first two verses … and as we do, please resist the urge to treat this verse like a platitude.

I’m pretty sure you have heard and seen this passage before, and so there will be a tendency to say, “Oh, that… ” and dismiss it.

Scripture can be mere information, or it can be power-packed, spiritual nutrients for our hungry souls … so let’s purpose in our hearts to take God’s word on the subject of happiness and ask Him to make it real and meaningful to us, carrying it around in our minds and hearts throughout the day.

Devour this food and let it energize you!

Blessed (HAPPY) is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers;

But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. Psalm 1: 1-2

There was a time that I thought this verse meant that I had to cut certain people and places out of my life.  And maybe for a season that was alright, seeing as I had so little confidence in who I was in Christ.

Years ago, as a young attorney, I desperately wanted to leave my job, and eventually I did.  I found it very difficult to be around all those ungodly people, all those who mocked my God, all those who delivered worldly advice and wanted me to do the same.  It hurt to be misunderstood and hear negative things about the One I loved so much.

It was not a happy place.

But this verse is not talking necessarily about cutting anyone out of our lives!  It’s really about – who are we listening to?

Even after narrowing my field of friendships, I still had to deal with my own inner critic – you know, that voice within that torments you in the night, “advising” you as to what you shouldn’t or should have done, telling you what you are and what you’re not, filling your mind with fears and worries!

Sometimes the counsel of my own inner voice is pretty ungodly and does not agree with the love of God.  Listening to it has caused me a great deal of stress and unhappiness.

There’s also a bit of a scoffer in most of us, right?  Isn’t that what we do when we hear the word of God and add a “yeah, but…” after?

Whenever we place our experience or what we see in others’ lives above what God says… well, that is a bit of scoffing. And as the word says, that does not lead us to a happiness!

So, what does? (go to part 2!)

Are you happy?

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Keys to Happiness…. In the Bible???

Are you happy?  Do you want to be happy?

These may sound like dumb questions … doesn’t everyone want to be happy?

Well, yes, I believe they do.  But, there is a notion about happiness in many Christian circles that specifically devalues happiness!

Consider this common teaching:
Happiness is related to happenings.
Happenings are temporary.
Therefore don’t seek happiness, a temporary and fleeting state of mind.
Instead, seek joy because joy is a reliable gift from God.

Well, I submit this thinking, one I long ascribed to, is wrong.  Oh, not that I don’t believe in seeking the joy of the Lord… it is, after all, our strength.

But I do believe we can and should expect happiness… and not feel an ounce of trepidation, guilt, or shame about it!

In our counseling/coaching ministry, we talk with people regularly who are not happy – in their marriages, their jobs, their relationships with their children or extended families, in their finances… the list goes on.

If I may, I would like to do a series on this topic over the next week or so.  I love people to be happy, and I know they can be.

In fact, the other day I came across my old high school yearbook and in it one of my best friends noted that I had a way of making people happy wherever I go.  I didn’t know that.  This was stunning to me.  I had no idea making people happy would be part of my life’s mission!

So, I ask you again… are you happy and do you want to be? Would you be so kind and let me know?

On a scale of 1 -10, how happy are you, generally?  How about in your marriage, if you are married?  In your work?  In your relationships, especially with God? with yourself?

I want to help you become happier.  Would you let me know if this is of interest to you?

God has given us many keys I would love to pass on to you.  It is His intention and design that we be happy, otherwise there would be no biblical passages giving us clues!!

So, here’s one for you to meditate on from Psalm 89:15:

“Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) are the people who know the joyful sound; they walk, O Lord, in the light and favor of Your countenance!”

Tip #1:  KNOW the joyful sound.  This joyful sound is actually a loud, shout, often with music and relates to celebrating all that God has done!  Go ahead!  Feel free to celebrate!  Shout out the goodness of the Lord!  Even if you don’t feel like it — trust me, it is elevating and will transform the energy in the atmosphere around you.

Tip #2:  WALK in the LIGHT and FAVOR of God’s countenance.  His countenance is His turning His face to you, looking upon you, with Favor in His eyes! This is a truth you can carry around with you, all through the day!  Maybe you can take some time and meditate and receive that today!

Tip #3:  Get my new book, “Have I Ever Told You, You’re My Favorite!”  It is helping so many increase in the favor of God… and that is a totally delightful key to happiness!