Category Archives: relationships

Your Perception of God Controls Your Life

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The more people I mentor, the more I am convinced that how a person perceives God controls every aspect of their life, especially how they view themselves.

The interesting thing is – despite this critically pivotal state of mind and heart,  most people have little awareness of how they see God.

And so, one of the first things I listen for is my client’s mindset about who God is to them.  This is often revealed in subtle ways, in the words they casually speak, when they they talk of their past experiences, or what their current struggles are.

Their mindset about who God is to them is formed from a variety of sources from growing up, to what they were told in school, to  what they see in the media, or while they’re out and about in the world.   Even what they are taught in church.   (Yes, I understand, people get nervous when I say those kinds of things.)  Slowly over time conclusions about God and a person’s relationship to Him get solidified to the point that they are never questioned, let alone challenged.

Over my many years of being a Christian, I have hit plenty of walls of frustration and fear. But in each instance, God had given me the opportunity to question and challenge my perception of Him, how He related to me, what He had in store for me, what His promises to me were — yes, you probably noticed a theme… ME.

But contrary to the saying, ‘it NOT about YOU,'”  I believe there are times when it has to be about me… and my mindset about God, which gives me my perception of Him, which will control how I experience what I am going through, and what choices I will make as a result.

Often the Lord has shown me that something definitely needed to be tweaked in my mind… I need the spirit of my mind to be renewed, rejuvenated, and often changed.  And He is faithful to do it.  The more I can see Him as Good, and Good to and for ME, the more I experience His goodness toward me.  This leads to greater peace, clarity, and confidence.  I am able to soar and rise above the difficulties, armed with new spiritual and practical tools and weaponry, all in the safe context of a loving God.

If you are feeling like things are not going so well with you, maybe it’s time to challenge your existing mindset. Ask God to show you what may not be working in your thought life, even in your subconscious.  Tell Him through writing or speaking… not just thinking, that you are ready to hear and see.  He is all about your success, freedom, and fulfillment.

God bless you, my friends.

Are you happy?

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Keys to Happiness…. In the Bible???

Are you happy?  Do you want to be happy?

These may sound like dumb questions … doesn’t everyone want to be happy?

Well, yes, I believe they do.  But, there is a notion about happiness in many Christian circles that specifically devalues happiness!

Consider this common teaching:
Happiness is related to happenings.
Happenings are temporary.
Therefore don’t seek happiness, a temporary and fleeting state of mind.
Instead, seek joy because joy is a reliable gift from God.

Well, I submit this thinking, one I long ascribed to, is wrong.  Oh, not that I don’t believe in seeking the joy of the Lord… it is, after all, our strength.

But I do believe we can and should expect happiness… and not feel an ounce of trepidation, guilt, or shame about it!

In our counseling/coaching ministry, we talk with people regularly who are not happy – in their marriages, their jobs, their relationships with their children or extended families, in their finances… the list goes on.

If I may, I would like to do a series on this topic over the next week or so.  I love people to be happy, and I know they can be.

In fact, the other day I came across my old high school yearbook and in it one of my best friends noted that I had a way of making people happy wherever I go.  I didn’t know that.  This was stunning to me.  I had no idea making people happy would be part of my life’s mission!

So, I ask you again… are you happy and do you want to be? Would you be so kind and let me know?

On a scale of 1 -10, how happy are you, generally?  How about in your marriage, if you are married?  In your work?  In your relationships, especially with God? with yourself?

I want to help you become happier.  Would you let me know if this is of interest to you?

God has given us many keys I would love to pass on to you.  It is His intention and design that we be happy, otherwise there would be no biblical passages giving us clues!!

So, here’s one for you to meditate on from Psalm 89:15:

“Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) are the people who know the joyful sound; they walk, O Lord, in the light and favor of Your countenance!”

Tip #1:  KNOW the joyful sound.  This joyful sound is actually a loud, shout, often with music and relates to celebrating all that God has done!  Go ahead!  Feel free to celebrate!  Shout out the goodness of the Lord!  Even if you don’t feel like it — trust me, it is elevating and will transform the energy in the atmosphere around you.

Tip #2:  WALK in the LIGHT and FAVOR of God’s countenance.  His countenance is His turning His face to you, looking upon you, with Favor in His eyes! This is a truth you can carry around with you, all through the day!  Maybe you can take some time and meditate and receive that today!

Tip #3:  Get my new book, “Have I Ever Told You, You’re My Favorite!”  It is helping so many increase in the favor of God… and that is a totally delightful key to happiness!

Agree with God, He really is Your Help!

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Help from the Lord

One of the vehicles in my life that God uses to help me confront and overcome my fears and grow in His Amazing Love is my network marketing business. I often don’t like calling it a business because, for one, I don’t really treat it as a business, but also, it’s one of the ways I’ve been called to help people.

Business sounds so, well, mercenary, though it doesn’t have to be, but that is often the perception. Many of my partners feel the same way. We desire to be a resource of genuine assistance, not people who impose, hurt, or offend.

But in approaching people and offering to assist or benefit them in some way, we sometimes get misunderstood, ignored, or flat out rejected. This can be painful. It can cause us to recoil, slip into oblivion with our heads hung low, want to attack in response, or give up trying.

Maybe we cause some of our own pain by how we approach people. Maybe we could use better words and phrasing, or questions, or timing. Maybe…..

But sometimes we look too hard for “the” answer or the secret to success, that we get lost. We forget why we are even here, what we are doing, and where the TRUE source of OUR help lay. Before we can truly be of help to others, we need to fully understand from where OUR help comes, and how to appropriate that help!

Recently, while in one of those foggy funks myself, my awesome hubby, reminded me of Ps 118. I would like to share this with you over the next few days, because it’s one of those Psalms, that, taken to heart, makes you feel so good!!!

Look with me first at verses 1-4 (AMP)

GIVE thanks to the Lord, for He is good; for His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever!
Let Israel now say that His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever.
Let the house of Aaron [the priesthood] now say that His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever.
Let those now who reverently and worshipfully fear the Lord say that His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever.

Before we continue, let’s notice together what the Psalmist leads us to do….

1. Give Thanks.
2. NOW SAY, “His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever.”

What a good idea! In the middle of funks, Give Thanks! Verbally, out loud. I have found that giving thanks in the face of discouragement is very elevating. So, maybe you can stop what you are doing right now, and …. GIVE THANKS!

Why? Because the truth is, He is good, really, and good to each of us, personally and individually.

So, join me now: “Thank You Father, for You are good, and good to me, always. Thank You.”

If you’re not feeling it, keep thanking until you do. There is real power in your words.

Another reason to Give Thanks:  God’s mercy and loving-kindness endures forever!

This is not just a blanket statement, cold, impersonal, for everyone else but you… it is YOURS!
He loves YOU. He is merciful TO YOU. When you mess up, He has nothing but mercy FOR YOU.

Not condemnation, judgment, or a big ole wagging finger in your face.

Mercy. Loving kindness. That is His heart TOWARD YOU. So, again, Give Thanks!

“Oh, Lord, sometimes people are not so merciful toward me. Sometimes they are not so loving or kind. But You are! Thank You!!!”

There are more riches in this Psalm to explore in the days to come, but for today…. Whatever you may be going through or dealing with, Give Thanks throughout your day.

Let your ears hear your voice say it. Your heart will be blessed. It will elevate you and produce a cheerful countenance for all to see. In the process, they too may be blessed!

Stay tuned for more love to come!
Agree with God… He is YOUR Help!!


How does the pain of rejection affect you?

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Ok.  I know this is not a popular topic.  Avoiding pain, of any kind, is a basic human motivation.  So, I understand if just the mention of this topic causes most of you to “runaway!”  (Sorry, can’t help but think of a segment in the movie, “Monty Python.”)

But some of you are fully aware that the pain of rejection is something you have indeed suffered, are suffering, or continue suffer.  You understand how it has affected you and driven you in various aspects of your life.

It is to you I address this post.  Read to the end…. there may be a free gift for you!

The Lord has impressed upon me recently just how significant this issue is and how it affects relationships, choices we make in our work, and endeavors we choose or don’t choose.  And thus, I am currently working on a project about the pain of rejection and how it directs our lives – positively and negatively.

Would you take just a few minutes and jot down some notes to me as to how it has affected you?  Would you mind sharing a story, a choice, and event where you have seen yourself do something or not in order to avoid the pain of rejection, or maybe how you reject yourself, or how you have tried to compensate for the pain?

For example,  because of being abused, abandoned, and rejected often as a child, I was motivated to become a lawyer.  Seems positive, right?  But once I had achieved my goal, I felt very depressed, rather than satisfied.   Why?  Because I was largely motivated to become a lawyer by my need to prove my worth and secure my future.  I wanted to be esteemed and wanted.

Well, I was esteemed, alright.  But I felt less wanted than ever!  People are scared of attorneys!  Girlfriends thought I was superior to them.  Guys thought I was too smart for them.  And on top of it, in the geographic area I lived in, being Asian, especially a smart Asian, was not a desirable trait.

The desire to avoid and compensate for the pain of rejection caused me to seek this career, but instead of being free of it, I added even more. (Thankfully God rescued me and showed me over many years, His love, esteem, and security that never fades and is in constant operation!)

Another example.  My husband has a business where he must invoice for services rendered.  For a long time we could not understand why he didn’t bill his clients on time, charge for the full extent of his work, or invoice at all!  Eventually the Lord shed light on it:  Gene perceived that the bill was a reflection of his worth.  If there was any challenge to his bill, which does happen in service businesses, it tapped into a hidden fear that he was not actually worth the money he charged.  This pain of feeling worth-less was enough to (subconsciously) keep or delay him from the billing process.  Of course, God pointed this out for Gene’s victory, but seeing and accepting this dynamic was not all that easy!

These are just 2 ways we have seen our choices affected by the pain of rejection.  There are so many more that relate to our relationships, our ministry, what we expect from life, God, and ourselves.

How about you?  Would you share with me how the pain of rejection has affected you and your choices in live?  Do you desire to be free and victorious of it as well?  In what ways are you already?

And here is the free gift part ….. share your story, and receive a $7 gift card to your favorite coffee shop, restaurant, or department store!   You can send me an email privately, or you can add your story here!

Thanks so much!!

Cheers!

Maryann