Category Archives: intimacy with God

Blessed or Stressed?

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I was touched to tears the other day.

As many of you know, I had been traveling for the past month. One of the places I stayed was in lovely Encinitas, CA, for about 3 weeks in my cousin and husband’s new, totally custom built home with sprawling ocean views.

Not only is this house exquisite, an amazing piece of architect, and beautifully, though simply, decorated… it is the most orderly, uncluttered environment I have ever been in. Quite frankly… it sort of intimidated me.

Though my cousin is family, I didn’t really know her or her husband, at least not intimately.

Would they get upset with me if I left a glass around? spilled something? God forbid… broke something?

I found myself wondering… would I leave this place and their company with them disappointed in me?

As kind, generous, and welcoming as they were, it took me a little time to RELAX and ENJOY such a lovely dwelling.

After a few days of discomfort and even resistance, I was surprised to realize that much of my discomfort was about ME and my PRECONCEIVED NOTIONS about them.

Despite my secret concerns, they just kept on giving… fixing me gourmet meals each night, sharing their best bottles of wine, inviting lively discussions, demonstrating curiosity and interest in me and my work….

And yet… I still remained slightly uncomfortable.

And then, it happened. God showed me I had a choice to make. Worry and resist or relax and receive. I became profoundly aware (again!) of how perceptions can either stress or bless!

CHOOSING to see favor, another thing happened…. I came to WANT to see, understand, and embrace THEIR hearts, THEIR ways, and THEIR whys.

By the third week, a beautiful flow of love, appreciation, and acceptance moved between us. I knew them. They knew me.

The day I left, my cousin called me on the way to her work. She expressed sadness that I was leaving, and that she left me something outside my door. Thinking it was some breakfast treat, I opened the door, and there, beautifully wrapped… a gorgeous journal inscribed with a heart felt sentiment.

So, here I am… staying in their home, eating their food, using their things for, what many would think is an excessive amount of time, and …. she leaves me a gift. I was touched to tears.

There are so many things to say about all of this, but I feel, viscerally, the passages, Psalm 23: 6. “Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever,” and John 15:4, “Abide (dwell) in Me, and I in you…. “

God wants us to intimately dwell with Him, in His Kingdom, in our hearts, consciously. God knows us… and He wants us to know Him… really know Him…

But how often do our PRECONCEIVED NOTIONS about Him, maybe even our worry and doubt, keep us from relaxing with and enjoying Him, our time together, and all His provisions?

How often does this discomfort keep us at arms length, often missing His blessings? How often do we give up in trying to be in His presence because we initially don’t feel what we want to feel.

I’ll be honest. The first week I was there, I was tempted to find another place to go. But there was no other place. How fortunate for me!

What I would have missed had I not been there to share life with them!

So, here’s my encouragement to you. Choose each day to consciously dwell in the house of the Lord, asking Him about Him, relaxing and receiving all He has for you. Ask Him to enlighten the eyes of your heart so you don’t miss a thing.

I love you!

In Your Corner!
Maryann

Your Perception of God Controls Your Life

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The more people I mentor, the more I am convinced that how a person perceives God controls every aspect of their life, especially how they view themselves.

The interesting thing is – despite this critically pivotal state of mind and heart,  most people have little awareness of how they see God.

And so, one of the first things I listen for is my client’s mindset about who God is to them.  This is often revealed in subtle ways, in the words they casually speak, when they they talk of their past experiences, or what their current struggles are.

Their mindset about who God is to them is formed from a variety of sources from growing up, to what they were told in school, to  what they see in the media, or while they’re out and about in the world.   Even what they are taught in church.   (Yes, I understand, people get nervous when I say those kinds of things.)  Slowly over time conclusions about God and a person’s relationship to Him get solidified to the point that they are never questioned, let alone challenged.

Over my many years of being a Christian, I have hit plenty of walls of frustration and fear. But in each instance, God had given me the opportunity to question and challenge my perception of Him, how He related to me, what He had in store for me, what His promises to me were — yes, you probably noticed a theme… ME.

But contrary to the saying, ‘it NOT about YOU,'”  I believe there are times when it has to be about me… and my mindset about God, which gives me my perception of Him, which will control how I experience what I am going through, and what choices I will make as a result.

Often the Lord has shown me that something definitely needed to be tweaked in my mind… I need the spirit of my mind to be renewed, rejuvenated, and often changed.  And He is faithful to do it.  The more I can see Him as Good, and Good to and for ME, the more I experience His goodness toward me.  This leads to greater peace, clarity, and confidence.  I am able to soar and rise above the difficulties, armed with new spiritual and practical tools and weaponry, all in the safe context of a loving God.

If you are feeling like things are not going so well with you, maybe it’s time to challenge your existing mindset. Ask God to show you what may not be working in your thought life, even in your subconscious.  Tell Him through writing or speaking… not just thinking, that you are ready to hear and see.  He is all about your success, freedom, and fulfillment.

God bless you, my friends.

Be Encouraged as You Approach This New Year

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HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

What is your approach to this new year?  Gleeful anticipation?  Armed with new resolutions? Ho-hum apathy? Down and out discouragement?

Whatever it is, I would like to pass on to you a passage our pastor encouraged us with yesterday.

1 Cor 2:9 “… as it is written, eye has not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for them that love Him.”

He then asked us the question, which I now ask you…

“Do you love God?”

“If so, then God has prepared things for you that you have neither seen, nor heard!”

What do you think of that?  Take a moment and breathe that reality in.

Now you may ask — but are they good things?

Years ago, there seemed to be a rash of teachings that promoted the mentality that if it’s something I don’t like or want to do, it must be God.


There was this thinking that God’s desires and our desires were at such odds with each other that surely, if it was pleasurable, fun, or easy…  it couldn’t be God.

Because of that many have turned away from Him, either within themselves, or in full out rejection.

God is a good God!  And this verse suggests good things are in store for those who love Him. (Notice it is not saying that bad things are in store for those who don’t.  We don’t want to go there!)

Here’s another verse that I’ve been meditating on recently, also mentioned in yesterday’s message.  (Don’t you love when that happens?)

Eph 3:19

Now to Him that is able to do EXCEEDING ABUNDANTLY ABOVE ALL that we ask, or think, according to the power that works in us…

God has prepared good things for you… exceeding abundantly above all you could even think!


And how will those things come to pass?  Through His power that is at work within you.

Meditate on this truth as you think about the new year.  Ask God to deepen it within you.

This is partly how we build a mindset of favor.

In a world filled with negativity and for many of us, a history of shame, guilt, and disappointment, establishing a new mindset of favor is essential to moving forward positively, effectively and in power.

God bless you!!
Maryann

Before You Make That New Years Resolution

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I don’t know about you, but this is a very pensive time of year for me. Christmas makes me reflect a little differently about our Lord and New Years brings a sense of increased hope and energy for what’s to come.Before I actually think too much about next year and what it will bring, I naturally think about this year and how did it mesh with my expectations.

In years past, I have to admit, I would experience a bit of disappointment.  I looked forward to the coming year because I really needed a change, a different attitude, perspective, or circumstances.

Being a bit of a high achiever, I usually wasn’t satisfied with what I had accomplished and typically felt quite frustrated with myself.

I would lose sight of how much God had done in me, through me, and for me.But this year, it’s different.

I began to notice a shift in my mindset last year, but this year, it’s been a whole new world. As I’ve sat daily in the presence of the Lord, He has taught me the art of gratitude and becoming exquisitely aware of His goodness and favor.

Anxieties and fears have literally melted away, and having savored that, I refuse to ever be imprisoned or hindered by them again.

Psalm 37: 4-5 says:
Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart.  Commit your way to the Lord (roll and repose each care of your load on Him), trust (lean on, rely on, and be confident) also in Him and He will bring it to pass.

I’m sure for many of you, this verse is an old favorite, too.  But have you ever wondered what it really means and how it really works? I have.  Sometimes I have been in so much anxiety or pain that I doubted that it meant anything at all.

Well, if that’s you, maybe I can shed some light.

The first thing we have to notice is the word “delight.”

King David, the author of this Psalm, didn’t say,:
  • “work like a dog”, or
  • “sacrifice your first born,” or
  • “go to church religiously”
  • and THEN God will give you the desires of your heart.
No, David said,  “DELIGHT.”

You know, sometimes the English translation doesn’t do the Hebrew justice.  Here, look:

Delight (‘anag)

Strong’s concordance says, “to be soft or pliable, that is, (figuratively) effeminate or luxurious.”

Another Hebrew dictionary says, ” to be soft, be delicate, be dainty”
a. (Pual) to be delicate
b. (Hithpael)
1. to be of dainty habit, be pampered
2. to be happy about, take exquisite delight
3. to make merry over, make sport of

Hmmm…. interesting word!  This isn’t just about being happy with and about the Lord, but to be like putty in His hands, to be pampered and luxurious!

This may be carrying the image a bit too far, but have you ever been treated to a luxurious massage at a spa resort? When you get on that table, you’re pretty darn vulnerable, aren’t you!

Basically, you have given the masseus permission to do whatever she wants to you, and you are there because you KNOW it’s going to feel so relaxing, and yet so rejuvenating… and you’re going to walk out of there, slowly, with a content grin on your face, with the mental attitude… yeah… whatever… it’s all good.

I love being pampered in that way, no doubt, but I have to say, delighting in the Lord, and He delighting in me… daily, has had a profound, I’ll-never-be-the same impact on my life.  It supercedes even the most luxurious spa treatment!

Through delighting in Him, I have learned of and become established in one of the most pleasurable and effective truths He has given us … we HAVE His favor, and we ARE highly favored. This favor has opened my heart and mind to receive the desires of my heart, and not block them from coming to me.  God wants to give to us excessively!

As I’ve said many times before, we can actually hinder or even, block the blessings of God by feeling disqualified, unworthy, guilty about everything, or undeserving.
The desires of my heart have been to be in constant partnership with the Lord, receiving His love and goodness freely, and being a vibrant, free flowing expression of that love and goodness to those He has put in my path (including you!!).

As I reflect on this year, I see He has honored those desires abundantly through writing, speaking, and coaching.  This fits me.

As I reflect on 2010, there isn’t a hint of disappointment or frustration.  Yay, God!  I am grateful and excited for 2011.
I love being putty in the Hands of Someone so trustworthy, so powerful, and so FOR me.

If you would like that too, here is my suggestions for a New Year’s resolve.Make it your goal to DELIGHT yourself in the Lord.  Spend time with Him and seek His favor.  Ask Him to deepen your awareness of this gift He has freely given to you.  Let Him pamper you with this truth.  He came to give it for a reason.

Then, with a heart of favor, trusting in His goodness, commit your way to Him.  He promises to give you the desires of your heart and bring it to pass.  Whatever way it comes, you will love it and it will delight Him to do so.

A Reflection on Christmas Guilt and Giving

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Ok, the presents are packed away and the bills are coming in. Well, I’m not here to tell you that you overspent or not.  I doubt you need anyone to tell you that!

But I would like to address the frustration that often puts undue stress on us.  Sometimes we blame cultural expectations for this tension and frustration.  But I believe for many of us Believers, there is a genuine God-given desire that sets our frustration into motion!

What is that God-given desire?

To give!  Excessively, extravagently, and without restriction.  Deep within each of us, this desire lives.

Why?  Because we have a God who has “lavished His love on us!” 1 Jn 3:1 (NIV)

LAVISH.  Don’t you love that word?  He has lavished His love on you!

So, why the frustration which creates the tension?  Because no sooner does the desire to give lavishly well up in us, when a competing thought squashes it down: the thought of lack!

Not enough money, not enough resources, not enough time, creativity, energy… whatever.  Faster than we even notice, lack rises up and squeezes the desire to lavishly give, making us feel inadequate, ashamed, and guilty.  Yuk.

Then we blame commercialism, non-believers, greedy kids (did we raise them to be like this???), and before you know it, we end up feeling like Scrooge.

So, what is my suggestion for you?

Rather than get swept away in a flood of lack, guilt, blame, and resentment… focus on ONE thing:
how lavishly the Lord loves you.

Take a few moments each day to dwell on that.  Let it swell up inside your chest, allow that thought to permeate your attitudes, your actions, and your daily dealings. Whenever you feel the pangs of lack, remember His lavish, extravagent love.

I know, it sounds too simple and too self-centered, but…
To be a true giver, you must first be a grateful receiver.

Remember: YOU are the joy set before Jesus. (Hebrews 2:2) And it all starts with Him!

And one more thing… even now, as you prepare for the coming year, set aside the funds you anticipate spending next year, or plan a year of giving without spending lots …. KNOWING you have the heart of God who loves to give.  Seek Him and His abundance, whether expressed through funds, creativity, or special favors.
He wants you to be blessed, not burdened as you express His goodness in and through you.


How to Seek God

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Writing a book opens all kinds of doors.  And I love that.  More coaching clients, invitations to speak, seminars to present, and book signings to do. Opportunities to witness the move of God in the hearts and minds of so many new, as well as old friends.

I get so excited when the opportunity gets presented… and then, a few days, or the night before the event… a dread falls upon me.  I want to run away, disappear, and go into hiding.

At first, I thought something was wrong, or maybe I’m not supposed to do this, or…. and then, doubt about who I am takes over, and I even lose sight of why I’m doing this.  Quite frankly, it almost overwhelms me!

Has this ever happened to you, or is it just me?

And what is this dread about?

For me, imagined fears of being a failure, or being alone, of feeling like I’m ineffective, inadequate, and non-essential.  Old yukky thoughts still wanting to block and stop me from carrying out the mission God has placed within me.

But…ha-ha!   God is making me savvy.  I see the wiley ways of the enemy who stands to accuse and oppose me.

God is making me smart.  He exposes the plot, and reminds me who I am, and why I do what I do.


He shows me the thoughts that create the feeling of dread are not the thoughts of a highly favored woman of God, co-heir of the King, esteemed and deeply loved child of a Father who has said He would do “whatsoever” I ask.

He uses these times to train me, mentor me, and power me up.  I am then led to speak my agreement with Him.


“Yes, Lord, You are mighty and I am highly favored.  I am blessed to be a blessing.  In You, I am not a failure.  In You, I am not ineffective.  You have chosen me for such a time as this!  When I enter that arena, I will be full of Your love, wisdom, and anything else I need because You are faithful. You are already there, and at the same time, I bring You with me. Flow through me, and touch whoever needs Your touch.  I am grateful and excited to showcase Your love, Your favor, and Your energy.  Thank you for choosing me.”

Well, I am happy to report, the seminar I conducted after my last tangle with dread was sheer delight.  The Lord showed up in a marvelous way as He gave me the courage to transparently tell my embarrassing stories.   All the pieces of the study fell into place, and the ladies responded as baby birds, mouths wide open, hungry for what God was revealing.  It was apparent to all that He was there, at work, inspiring, motivating, and encouraging.  As a friend quoted from Veggie Tales, “I laughed. I cried.  It really touched me, Bob.”  Cute.

Consciously flowing in the favor of God could not happen if I did not “seek” Him.  Not some religious ritual, perfunctorily performed and then checked off, seeking Him is as simple as sharing our secrets with an intimate friend, or relaxing over coffee with a deeply interested relative.


And yet, there is a profundity to seeking Him, where He shares with us the inner workings of His heart and mind.  How secure He makes me feel knowing that every need I have, He has the answer and solution.

Where I once had difficulty carving out time to sit with Him because of all I had to get done, I now am so addicted to it, that everything else gets ordered around this part of my day.   Oh, how much easier, more productive, and satisfying life is!! For those of you who know what I’m talking about… let us rejoice together!

For the rest, oh, how I want that for you!

And so, I asked the Lord to speak to you today, and here is what He said,


“Come to Me as you are.  I know the details of your life intimately.   And I care about it all.  You don’t have to know anything other than I desire you and you desire me.  Sit with Me, and let Me show you My love.  Close your eyes, and look into Mine.  Do you see My delight for you?  You are My heartthrob.  You are My joy.  I know everything in your mind, your heart, your circumstances.. I know it all. I see the good in you, and all are trying to accomplish.  I see your fears, too. Come, let Me show you that I am on your side.

I desire to work with and through you, to give you ideas and what you need to accomplish them.  (I see the Lord lift up your face, and a radiant glow illuminates it, as He says…) I have things worked out for you.  Sit and rest awhile, and then follow my lead and I will show you the path.”

At that point the Lord held you close, until you were almost totally absorbed into Him.  Oh, the sweet satisfaction in His eyes as He held you!

How do we seek God?  Just show up, be ready to receive, and have a conversation.  He is waiting with eagerness and joy.


Have an amazing week!

We are all His favorites!

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I just had to share a segment from Bill Johnson’s talk, “Dreaming Out of Intimacy.”  Referring to the coming revival, he says,  “It’s fascinating to talk to various groups of people, whether it like, denominations… Baptists feel the revival is coming from them, and of course, Pentacostals think it’s coming from them, the youth think it’s coming from them because they have the zeal and energy for it, and the seniors think it’s coming from them because of the wisdom that comes from experience …  Israel, Native Americans, men, women, leaders, those without a title …all think it’s coming from them….

But let me tell the secret behind all of it, the Father is so amazing, that He gives each individual undivided attention, to where each person feels like THEY’RE THE FAVORITE!”

Oh, yes!!  We all need to believe and feel that we are the Father’s FAVORITE!  Because we are! He is able, in His unfathomable way to make each of us feel special and wholeheartedly attended to. We all have a part to play, and isn’t it grand that He gives us the feeling of favor to carry forth!!!

Press into Him and His favor… you will love it!!

Be Happier! Tell God About It

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I’m always amazed when I read the word and see psychological/health principles vividly displayed.  Many think the word of God irrelevant, and yet more and more, current brain and psychological studies reveal what the Bible has been saying all along, specifically in this discussion:  For happiness and health, we need forgiveness.  Internalizing our fears and guilty feelings creates havoc in our minds and bodies.

Let me show you what I mean:

I discussed in the past couple of posts how Ps 32:1-2 points out a way to HAPPINESS, and that is to live in a perpetual state of a clean slate which is only obtained by believing at a deep heart level that God has already forgiven you.  It is NOT by trying to always be good! Further, because God holds nothing against you, you need not hold anything back from Him.

Feeling guilty carries with it the fear of punishment, and we do all kinds of things to avoid that… blame-shifting, denial, aggressive attacks.

On the other hand, some people accept all forms of guilt… they feel responsible for everything that happens, take the blame for it all, and subconsicously harbor a belief they deserve punishment, and the circumstances of their lives reflect that.  Read any basic Psy 101 course and this dynamic is sure to be examined.

Now venting, blaming others, and punishing others for the guilt we feel inside is not a healthy response.  But neither is internalizing it so your body gets bombarded with a steady stream of harmful chemicals triggered by persistent negative thoughts.

Listen what David says in Ps 32:3:

When I kept silence [before I confessed], my bones wasted away through my groaning all the day long.

Keeping our negative thoughts inside and not dealing with them in a healthy manner affects our minds and bodies in severe ways.

As a former neurotically guilty person, feeling responsible for everyone and everything, here’s what I have learned to do:

Tell God all about it.

I write daily letters to Him and when I need to, I share my deepest, darkest secrets and feelings.  I share my screwiest ideas, my stupidest questions, my greatest fears, and silliest offenses.

And guess what?  I not only have not been zapped, but also I feel and see His smile.

He’s never forsaken me.  He, instead, sticks close to me, enlightens me, clears up my confusion, and reassures me that He loves and yes, even favors me!!  I need not grovel because He is the Lifter of my head!

If you don’t have that kind of intimacy with Him… ask Him for it and try it out!  He will meet you, if you let Him!

To your good mental, emotional, and physiological health!

Guilt: A Barrier to Intimacy with God

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Yesterday we considered Ps 32: 1 – 2:

Happy is he who has forgiveness continually exercised upon him, who has a perpetual fresh start!  You’re slate is wiped clean!  God holds nothing against you, and so, you need not hold anything back from Him.?

Did you notice the latter part of that passage? “… so, you need not hold anything back from Him.” (The Message)

Often in my coaching, I guide my clients to check out passages in the word that offer proof of the heart and intention of God.  Without understanding more fully the love of God, it’s easy to get thwarted in receiving the desires of their hearts.

I ask about the nature and quality of their relationship with Him to see if they are trying to get to their destination or goal in a boat with no paddles, sail, or motor.  Crazy, but that’s most of us!

After we talk about this, invariably it is disclosed, sheepishly, that they rarely sit with the Lord for wisdom, strength, hope, or joy.  Why not?  They feel guilty.

Somewhere within, they feel God doesn’t really want to see them, or if He does, it’s to scold them.

They barely crack open the word, which is to strengthen their faith, infuse them with power, and settle their hearts.  Again, why not?  Because they perceive a big bony finger rising up out of the pages and shaking in their faces.  Who’d want that?

I know exactly how they feel.  Growing up with a highly critical parent, I developed the idea that being right about everything, not wrong, was the way to avoid punishment, ensure my worth as a person, and increase my superiority.  To have anyone point out I was wrong about ANYTHING was like taking a hot poker and stabbing an open wound.

Of course, I had an effective way of masking that this bothered me, and so, I’d internalize the criticism, wonder about its truth,  and be resentful toward them.  A double whammy to my soul.

Examine today if your guilty feelings are keeping you from the True Source of all you need and desire.  The answer is NOT to do everything right all the time so that you don’t ever feel guilty and no one can accuse you.  You can’t anyway.

The answer is NOT to grovel and do penance each time you want to go to Him. He doesn’t need or want that.

The answer is to accept wholeheartedly the open door to His heart for you.  There is nothing that stands in His way, and He doesn’t want anything to stand in yours.  You can tell Him anything.  Go for it.